Witness Place

On Photography and Healing

     “You offered to make pictures with me that day in the theatre. I pulled you into a swiftly dwindling stream of light with one hand-- and now the images we made have become the embodiment of such immense feeling.

It was a scene about recognizing and overcoming pain, of reaching out to attempt to heal you because I, myself, needed healing; we gave presence to emotions long ago frozen…      

      It’s true that I was in control of the images being made, for I was the one who held the camera…Yes, I was in control of my hand, but I didn’t want to have power over you. My hand wanted only to understand you as it explored your mutable, beautiful, terrified, satisfied face. I am still not sure why I put my hand inside of the black, ripped glove when I did -- Something unconscious and impulsive guided me…it felt very innocent, but also powerful.”

 ~ Chehalis Hegner. March, 2006.

Sometimes I believe that I became a photographer for the sole purpose of becoming a witness: a person that is present and willing to consciously observe without judgment. 

In the act of self-imaging and making images of others, there has always been an undeniable sense that an ineffable, fundamental kind of healing was taking place during the act of photographing. Many of my subjects and collaborators have made clear and emphatic statements about feeling transformed by the reality of having been seen and photographed by me.  In recent months I have become increasingly sensitive to the potential for self-realization through the act of making photographs.

When someone comes to me to make a photograph, he/she also comes with a question.  This question may not be articulated in words, but I always sense it in their body language, and/or comments. As a result of my awareness on this level, the photograph expresses an authentic human condition where the subject is seeking some kind of resolution.  The fact that the question is both captured and answered on film has a healing effect on both of us:  photographer and subject.

I believe that this symbolic anointing occurs because we are so seldom honestly seen.  This is due in part to the way society structures life as a primarily fragmented experience based on various forms of alienation, rather than on community building and sharing. 

Being witnessed photographically may become a healing experience because it reminds and reconnects us with the memory of being held safely in our mother’s gaze. It also has the potential to tap into emotional pain that highlights the things that we lack in our real life experiences.

In the process of making self-portraits, I address my own need to understand my truth, as it is revealed in the momentary fragments that are punctuated by the sound of the shutter releasing.

Though I often use props such as wigs or gloves, I am not interested in creating fantasies, per se, except where these enactments help us to behold a larger truth. When an authentic experience of witnessing occurs, I feel there is great purpose in the act of seeing.

~ Chehalis Hegner.

Chehalis Hegner © 2006 All Rights Reserved.

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